Saturday, 10 March 2012

Romantic comedy and what would happen in real life.

Ok, some of us watch romantic comedies and we think "awww that's so sweet! I wish I had that".
the one problem is, this is REAL LIFE, not a movie. things turn out VERY differently.

10 Things I Hate About You

Heath Ledger's character serenades Julia Stiles's character Kat with the song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You." Complete with a marching band playing the instrumental part. Kat seems to love this.

WHAT WOULD REALLY HAPPEN: Heath sings, Kat rolls her eyes and calls him "the cheesiest douchebag she has ever met" and never talks to him again.

Love Actually

Juliet has always assumed that her husband's best friend Mark hates her because he's been so awkward around her. But when he shows up at her front door posing as a caroller and bearing cue cards, she realises just how mistaken she was. Why it's particularly sweet: Mark has no ill will toward his friend; it's more that he just wants closure. Juliet responds to the sentiment with a quick kiss.

Juliet becomes confused and ends up sleeping with both men, only for her husband to find out, quickly filing for divorce and taking half of EVERYTHING. Meanwhile he becomes a self loathing alcoholic and has the catch phrase of "why me? why is it always me?"

Never Been Kissed, 
Josie Geller invites the object of her affection, Sam Coulson, to give her her a kiss during a school baseball game — her first. It's as sweet as the resulting smooch, set to "Don't Worry Baby" by the Beach Boys.

He never turns up, she never gets her kiss and she becomes a CRAZY CAT LADY.

Reality Bites  

Valedictorian and all-around rule-follower Lelaina and her slacker best friend Troy have been trying to stifle their feelings for each other forever — despite living in the same apartment. Their relationship implodes when Lelaina starts dating a motivated career guy, so after his father passes away, Troy begins to get his act together to win her over. It succeeds, of course, ending the story with a kiss.

They fall in lust, they date for a year or two and then realise that they just aren't right for eachother. He wants kids, she wants to be more.....Liberal.

Pretty Woman

Edward Lewis decides he can't let Vivian go after their "business arrangement" ends and attempts to be the knight in shining armour she's fantasised about. Tackling his fear of heights by climbing her fire escape, he presents her with roses and asks what happens next. She tells him that she "rescues him right back."

Oh, is that a rolex watch? Oh, and keys to the Ferrari. She marries in to money and divorces just as quickly, love can't be bought with money, but a pool full of $100 notes is sure nice to get naked in.


Even though they were never really together, Juno realises she's in love with the father of her baby, Paulie Bleeker, while she's pregnant. Her gesture is personal, sweet, and colourful: she fills the Bleeker mailbox with orange Tic Tacs, his fave.

Oh man, where to start? OH BOY, CALL OUT ZE VACKY VAGON!! This girl is CRAZY. No, really....This is NOT normal behaviour...No matter HOW MUCH someone likes tic tacs.

The Wedding Singer

Robbie can't let Julia marry her cheating fiancée Glen. He not only crashes their flight, but he's written her a song: "I Want to Grow Old With You."

She stays with the cheating fiancée thinking she can change him, it never happens, he never changes. Then she lives out the rest of her life with a ton of cats....Drew, do we see a theme here with you and cats?

And there ya have it folks, reality vs Hollywood, Hallmark invented the idea of romance and we all embraced it, but no one really appreciates it much any more.

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