Monday, 30 July 2012

Ten Reasons The Dark Knight Rises Was Mediocre (At Best)

10- The film felt like it could have been a 2 part movie and not a full film. Nothing like the story restarting an hour or so in.
It’s worked for other films, such as Harry Potter so there is no reason why they couldn’t do it here and potentially double the box office revenue.

9- If you can understand Bane’s voice through the mask one hundred percent of the time, you either have amazing hearing or started making up conversations in your head.

“Mr Wayne, would you like to come over for a barbeque? We have s-mores and your favourite imported beer.”

8- Teasing at the end that we finally see Robin and yet know that no more films will be made for years?
Especially Batman related films feels like a kick to the you-know-what.
Meanwhile, Marvel races ahead of DC in the movie war making one wonder if DC really care at all, or if they just want to make some money and are no longer interested in the long standing war against Marvel.

7- Bane starts a new revolution, however instead of carrying it through, he is going to blow up Gotham instead? Making himself just another terrorist and not actually enacting any new social movement AT ALL?
In fact, his actions would have made America MORE paranoid than ever. Good job, Nolan. You tried to say so much and it meant nothing at all.
(Stupid sexy Flanders)

6- Bane, what is that you’re wearing on your head? Why does it look like a pair of stretched rubber underpants with a breather mask attached?

5- Batman/Bruce Wayne was absent from the goings on of Gotham for eight years? Wayne would NEVER do such a thing. There will always be crime, and when there will always be crime, there will always be Batman. Anyone who reads/watches Batman knows that there is no way he would distance himself from the city whom he loves so dearly.

4- The film score was not the score we deserved. Recycle that score, boys. It will make it cheaper! Really, the same music (pretty much) again feels like Nolan just didn’t bother.

3-Tahlia Al Ghul states that Bats killed her father, who she hated, and thus she is in Gotham to enact revenge. Wait up crazy lady, you hated your father a whole lot, but have come to Gotham to AVENGE him?
Yeah, that makes about as much sense as LOST DID.
Come to think of it, I need to check the writers, I feel a “dead end story becomes not a dead end that is a dead end that’s not what you think yet is yet isn’t rollfaceonkeyboardhihowareyouimgoodthanksyouyeahgood” writing of lost through the movie.

2- Catwoman, not just another pretty face. Oh, never mind then. They put her in to be a love interest to Bruce/Bats but really, she just felt like the DC answer to Black Widow (The Avengers) only less cleavage.
Much less.  Depressingly less. Horridly less. Sorry Anne, Scarlet just blows you out of the pool.

1- This was not the hero we needed, nor was it the Hero we deserved. The Dark Knight Rises had so much hype that it felt like it was to be THE film that defined a generation, that no other film could even go NEAR, The Avengers already gets that title.

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